Dear Joe,

I will tell you a story. There was this king who has many wives. He had them in various sizes and shapes, colours and races, both short and tall ones; he had them all. One wouldn’t expect him to look elsewhere with the various specifications of ladies he’d blessed himself with. Coexisting together at the same point in time is another poor man. All he had was his life and his wife. Even his life wasn’t his own to start with. He’d sold out himself to the armed force of his nation which the king is overseeing. With all he has, he was taking care of his lone treasure. He wouldn’t want to part ways with her, safe for national assignment. He invests as much as he could in his wife to see her measure up in wisdom and in appearance. In one of the many times the poor man goes to work. The king thought it to have a fling/ one night stand. He saw no qualify person safe the poor man’s wife. Having slept with her he was back in his court the following day to judge an hungry man who stole from a rich man’s farm to douse hunger. Joe, you don’t look too different from that man.

You cannot spoil all the girls and want a “Virgin Mary” for yourself. It is not fair. There is always a law of cause and effect that applies to all you do. You’re being unfair with the treatment of this lady. She’s invested so much time and energy into this relationship. Have you forgotten so soon; emotional supports, her provisions you took and other materials which she sustained you with when you were on level zero? You’ve slept with her more than the entire number of days you’ve slept since birth. You did same with the other lady while an undergraduate too. During those periods, you will still come to the pulpit to lift up “holy hands”. You will speak in tongues and also counsel several others who are under you. Despite all, you were harsh in those days. Your reign was full of terror like that of king Nebuchadnezzar. Everyone feared you and your word. At your command, people trembles, even though you were mates. You ruled with iron rod without sparing anyone who did wrong. You gave suspension to those who misbehave. You excommunicated those who fell into the sin of fornication. You openly rebuked many. People saw you as the “Bro” that does not take nonsense, whereas your secret life is horrible. Your drama was well perfected and nobody knew you were devil’s younger brother. In those days, you do sleep with someone you tagged your “will of God”. In fact, you made her the “mama” for the fellowship. Everyone must respect “Oga’s will”. When she had the second abortion for you, you instructed the welfare coordinator to take special care of her from the offering of the fellowship as she was “sick”.

Something must have been wrong with the part that judges in your brain. How on earth could you now be so judgemental? While you yourself had committed so great havoc and atrocities, you still come out to point finger at someone else who is struggling to get better. Those people you sat on their cases admitted they were wrong, and they were ready to make amends and move on. Their brokenness won’t move you though. Here you are again today. You want a Virgin Mary while you yourself are not a “Virgin Joe”, you’ve lost your nozzle cover.  You now take the virginity issue so serious as if your life depends on it and you are not ready to clamp down on what you feel is right.

Just a couple of weeks after you dumped the one you used in the fellowship. You are back again to tell us “the lord has spoken again”. You’ve found for yourself the Kim Kardashian spec of a lady. All the curves in the right places, sweet Briton accent marinated with christianese clichés. Was it really that your “lord” just spoke after you left the first lady or did you lose signal after seeing the package? You’ve used her too, before you remembered that marriage bed must be undefiled. Then you begin your ultimate search for virgin. If your “god” has not spoken to you on this matter because of your pride, it is because the demons on your assignment have the mandate to take you to the hottest part of hell before withdrawing from your case.

You need to preach to yourself before you land yourself in hotter hell. See, in life, there are rules that rule. Such is that nobody knows you as much as you. Nobody will tell you the truth you know and are hiding from yourself.  You can deceive everyone else, but to thyself be true. Such act of truthfulness is what liberates and sets you free from the bondage you put yourself. Virginity, to start with is not a pre-requisite for a fulfilling marriage life. If God show you mercy after you’ve right your wrongs, and you have a virgin to yourself, it is not a guaranty that you will have best of marriages. Nothing works unless it is worked on. What I’ll suggest you do is to look within and have a resolution to fix all your wrongs. It is one sure way to get you better and on track of restoration. Having done that, you need to know what you really want and where you’re going in life to identify who is fit to embark on the journey with you in position of a partner. There is something called grace that does the covering for you when you are sincere with yourself and willing to do it right. I hope you find courage to do the needful knowing that karma operates on the measure of paying you back based on what you sow. Remember karma doesn’t respect anyone.

Amore cum ab,

Yeni Manuel.

© | 2016

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About the author

Yeni Manuel

Ayeni Emmanuel Olaoluwa; Yeni Manuel for short is a young and agile man with the vision to "light up your light". He holds a Bachelor of Engineering degree in Civil Engineering from Nigeria's foremost University of Technology; The Federal University of Technology, Akure. He has passion for writing and a legendary penchant for human development. He loves reading, travelling, researching, counselling and taking time to talk people to life. He's a practising graduate engineer and certified PMP and he enjoys it.

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